I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
