Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
