You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
