Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
