Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
