Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
