bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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