so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
