His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
