I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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