love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
