My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I CAN MOONWALK!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
