That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
