So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
