I'll bet she douches with gravy.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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