How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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