i already hear my dad disowning me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize