All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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