Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
FUCK WHALES
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