dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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