Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
