If i come over, it means nothing
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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