dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
