Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
