Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
