Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
