absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
