dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
