So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
