You're so nebulous sometimes
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
