U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Mom said you looked used
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
