he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
