; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
