some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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