took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
