They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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