I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
