my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
