Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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