I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
