In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize