I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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