you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
