And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
