My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize