words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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