guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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