Where is the hickey?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
