I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
