oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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