Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
sex in a hospital.. check
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
