I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
