are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I could fuck to npr.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
