Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
