How's work?
Spinning.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
