Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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