Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize