I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
