She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
