so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize