why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
